Serving Closer to Home

One of the traits I admire most is the ability to hear and respond to promptings to serve others.  I stand in awe of the inspiring stories of the friend that showed up at just the right moment to assist in an emergency, or the stranger that offered just the thing, or the person who knew someone needed a call.  I long to be so in tune with the Spirit that no need that I could fulfill goes neglected.  To me, this seems like the ultimate goal of a true disciple of Christ: to become a perfect instrument in his hands.

So, knowing that practice makes perfect, and that you have to earn the trust of the Spirit through responding to it, I set a goal to pray every day for 2 weeks for promptings that I could then follow.  "Alright, here I am, Lord.  Whom do you want me to help today?" I would utter hopefully every morning I remembered to.  Sadly, in the bustle of parenthood (especially with a newborn) I forgot to ask most days, and as the 2 weeks went by, I never noticed a prompting.  I recommitted, I prayed more, I tried to feel something, to hear something.  Who needed me?  I would gaze out the window as I did dishes every morning and try to think whom I could help.  Nothing.  I started to worry that I was just insensitive or too busy or distracted.  Too selfish, perhaps, or unworthy.

Then finally, it occurred to me that the Lord was not going to burden me with extra obligations when I had so many already.  Granted, we are not supposed to wait to serve until we have everything in our own life all squared away and perfect.  But God does know our limitations, and he is not unreasonable in his requests.  I have a 2 month old baby, a 6-year old who is starving for some attention and greater sense of self worth, and a husband with many pressures and demands on him.  I have a toddler who is begging to be toilet trained, a daughter who is in limbo between childhood and adolescence, and a quiet young son who is in danger of getting lost in the shuffle because he is too obliging to speak up for himself.  If the Lord was not currently asking me to serve outside the walls of my own home, then for sure he needed me to do all sorts of service within them.

So my prayers and my goal took a shift.  I started praying every morning that I could be of greater service to my family.  This time, it was easier to remember, and this time I found plenty to do.  I was able to help my husband prepare material for an upcoming presentation.  I helped my 6-year-old catch up on a month's worth of chores, earn his allowance, and finally feel good about himself.  I helped my other son with a fun and engaging homework project that he is proud of.  In between it all, I fed my kids cold cereal most mornings, cooked a few meals, ordered pizza and did mac n' cheese on the other nights, fed my baby, and kept changing 2 sets of diapers.  Nothing momentous.  But I did what I could for those I love the most.  I still want to learn to hear those promptings to go outside my domain and rescue someone besides my own, but if this is all the Lord needs me to do for now, I am content to do it.